haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
