its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
