Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
