Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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