quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
