Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
