White coat. Heels.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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