k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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