why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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