DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
