it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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