Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
