dude i'm inner monologue high
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
