He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
