guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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