you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
