Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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