Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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