We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
