come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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