I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
