If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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