who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
