Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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