evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
