I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
