That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
