I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
