super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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