we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
