i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
