ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
