today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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