My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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