My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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