Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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