i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I forgot how hot balto sounded
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
