Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
