We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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