Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize