hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Mom said you looked used
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
