i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
