Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
this hospital has no fireball
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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