Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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