Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
