She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
