We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
