we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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