What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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