did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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