i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
