I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
