why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
People in love make me want to vomit
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
